MOTIVATION!

A big word that expresses a concept which I momentarily LACK. I feel I am constantly looking in the mirror and NOT liking what I see. It's not so much that I believe I need to lose about 15 lbs, it's all the other little things, too.

Like, WHY is it that at a certain age women start growing facial hair!? And, what about hair that grows now in other places you never thought you had hair follicles! lol! Then, there's all the places where you SHOULD have hair and one day you realize it isn't there anymore.

Let's not forget either all those facial lines that somehow sneak up on you while you are asleep and "jump on your face" to remain there well into your day. No matter what filler cream you use. lol!

I am motivated to exercise---I've recently changed from doing cardio and weights on the same day and instead one day I work with weights and one day I do 45 minutes of cardio--that seems to work much better because I don't feel rushed and I am not as worn out the next day.

I still belly dance. Some might think I'm beyond my expiration date, but I'm still going strong. Not sure why I can't just "quit" belly dance--it's almost like a strong craving for chocolate when your hormones dip---no matter how you don't want to eat it, you do. That's what belly dance is like...lol! Sure, it's GREAT exercise and helps with flexibility--not to mention the self-esteem boost you get when you gain control over muscles you never found in the gym, but when the belly dance bug bites the "disease" is incurable. lol!

My lack of motivation is that I seem to be able to do one thing at a time--like exercise--but have trouble staying on track with my "relationship to food". Do you have that issue, too? I read the blog of a friend in Tennessee this week (www.sewmuchtosew.blogspot.com)....she's recently hired a trainer and is eating "clean"--meaning lots of protein, low carbs, low fat and she's doing really well. I'm waiting to read her blog (to come soon) on her progress. I think this could be the motivator I need--someone I know who IS accomplishing this.

So, sigh, that's my motivation story. I welcome any comments on this. Also, if you have any advice on how to handle those nasty surprises first thing in the morning when you look in a mirror, PLEASE let me know! lol! I already don't wear my glasses at that time so that hasn't worked. I don't want to look 25 again...that's totally unrealistic. I just want to look like a dang good 50 year old!

OH, on that note, I did something I've never done....on www.more.com a magazine for "mature" women (the over Cosmo crowd) I entered their "model" contest...NOT because I'm model material, but because despite all the above I feel pretty good about myself and where I've landed at this point in my life and I knew that if I didn't do it, I'd regret it. I don't expect to win, but I've connected with other women there who deal with some of the issues I now confront. If you go to that site you can search on Cheryl Paul and find my essay...it's only 150 words. I've NEVER done anything like that...well..not really. I did enter the Green Co. Jr. Miss pageant in high school and was 2nd runner up--I think it is because I winked at the judges...lol!

Anyway-I just thought I'd share my "growing older" angst....I've heard it can be therapeutic.

Just send me your bill! lmao!!!